Updates Galore!

Alright, so here goes! Updates on my life (ok, boys) over the last couple months...
I apologize in advance for the length!


B (running in the rain boy):

We hung out a lot for the first couple weeks - he would text me quite a bit, invited me over to watch football, baseball (the world series was going on during this time), and movies almost every night. We went to the theater several times, he cooked me supper, and we ordered tickets to go to a concert (which is tomorrow actually). Things were good....

And then the new Call of Duty xbox game came out and he basically fell off the face of the earth. His sleeping schedule is completely messed up and I barely hear from him once a day. Over Thanksgiving break, he finally called me a week after it started and we talked for about 5 minutes, and that was it. Then when we got back from break, he invited me to come over the next night after he got off work, but once he got off he text me and said he had a really bad day and was going to go work out. I was under the impression that he was going to work out and then we would hang out, but I was wrong. Two days later he text me and said, "hey stranger, what are your plans for tonight?" I told him I didn't have any plans, so again, I assumed that meant we were going to hang out, but I was wrong, again. I didn't ever end up hearing from him. I ended up going over and seeing him the next day for about 2 hours before he had to go to work, but he slept most of the time.

Fast forward to this week, and I had invited him to the Christmas service at the Christian Campus House (I'm an intern there and I spoke during the service). He asked me what time it was, but he didn't show up...he text me at 11 that night and said he fell asleep and had just woken up. I told him I was leaving the next day for Denver but my flight got back in Friday night, so maybe we could hang out Friday night or Saturday. I didn't ever hear from him last night, so we'll see what happens today.

I'm pretty sure tomorrow's concert will be the end of things. Thankfully, I've learned enough about myself over the past year to know that I should not have to compete with a video game for attention. Every person deserves more respect than that, so...


The Ex:

Wow, where to begin...
Apparently, it began driving him crazy that I was ignoring all of his attempts to communicate with me. He was typically texting me or calling me once every 2 weeks, but after I decided to ignore his attempts following Labor Day weekend, he upped it to once a week. He sent me a text asking me if I was ever going to talk to him again, so I finally text him back and said that I didn't think we should talk anymore, so he sent me a text that said "ok," but I knew it wasn't over...
The next week, he sent me a facebook message saying he didn't understand why we couldn't talk anymore. He said he had apologized for his behavior and he just wanted to know how things were going. I thought about it for a couple days and sent him this message:

I understand that you apologized and I appreciate your apology and I accept it, but I had decided to end things completely before you apologized. I decided after Labor Day weekend that I didn't appreciate the way I had been treated, and I'm not down with that. Your favorite phrase since we broke up was that "it's over," but it's never really been over for either of us. When you broke up with me, you chose to take me out of your life, but you also lost the right to be in my life completely. I should have ended things a long time ago, but I guess I wasn't ready to. I think it's pretty clear we can't be friends, 1. we have too much of a history together 2. we've tried it but don't know how to act as friends because that's not what we were 3. that's not how break ups work. Just so you know, this isn't about me blaming you or attacking you and it's not that I'm mad at you or anything like that, it's just over between us. Again, I appreciate your apology, I really do, and I would never wish anything but the best for you. I think you're an awesome guy, but I just don't think there is a need for us to stay in contact.

I didn't ever get a message back from him. The next week, was opening day of deer season, so I figured he probably went home that weekend to hunt, but didn't think much more about it. That Sunday night, I got a text from him while he was on his way back to school - he said he was in a town that's about 20 minutes away from where I go to school and asked if I wanted him to stop by and see me, and then ended with "lol, jk." I didn't reply. Then, that same week, I had a missed call from him on Thursday, and then again on Friday.

Needless to say, I wasn't excited about going home for Thanksgiving break because I figured I would run into him (kind of hard not to in a town of 3,000). On Monday night, I went to my little sister's junior high basketball game to watch her cheer. My ex's sister-in-law is my sister's cheerleading sponsor, so I talked with her for quite awhile when I got there. She told me that she was supposed to edit one of his papers for him that was due at midnight, but he hadn't given it to her yet, but I didn't think anything about it. Then, later on in the night, I happened to look over and I thought I saw him standing in the commons. A couple minutes later, he had walked around to the side I was sitting on and was standing about 8 feet from me. We made eye contact as soon as he came around the corner, and it was all over after that. I don't understand how that look had so much power, but it did. Luckily, I had way too much homework to hang out with anyone over break, so I didn't end up running into him again. He called me that Friday night of break, and in a moment of weakness, I answered. He asked what I was doing, how my break was going and other small talk. I told him I was getting ready to go to bed, and he said 'oh' like he was kind of surprised or let down (although I could be misinterpreting his tone, which is highly possible). So he said him and one of his friends were driving around and they drove by my house and so he thought he would give me a call. Then he said he was on his way out to his friend's house and he was going was to drive by my house on his way out there. He asked if that was weird, which actually it was, because that definitely was not the most direct route to his friend's house.

And then he text me last night and said, "I am having surgery next week, just to let you know." After much debate, I sent him a text back saying I would be praying for him and he said Thanks. I'm not sure why he would want to let me know that, but it pretty much ruined my night. I'm trying to be strong but it's impossible when he won't leave me alone and let me be. I hate how he can still have so much power over my mood/emotions. I ended up texting his sister-in-law today to find out the details of his surgery because I really didn't want to have a conversation with him. I've been so intentional about trying to move on...I ignore almost all of his attempts to contact me, but I just don't understand why he still does it.


My friend T:

We have been extremely close friends since Logan broke up with me - we've been through a lot of the same situations and have always been there for each other ever since. Extremely long story short: he began dating this girl and has fallen off of the face of the earth completely. We went from texting or talking nearly everyday to never at all. I don't ever hear from him, and even if I text him, half of the time he never texts me back. It sucks so much to value a friendship when it all of a sudden isn't reciprocated back. For some reason, all of the guys that I invest in end up letting me down.