"Lord, I hope this day is good,
I'm feeling empty and misunderstood.
I should be thankful Lord I know I should,
But, Lord, I hope this day is good.
Lord have you forgotten me
I've been prayin' to you faithfully
I'm not saying am a righteous man
But Lord I know you'll understand.
I don't need fortune and I don't need fame,
Send down the thunder, Lord, send down the rain.
But when you're planning just how it will be,
Plan a good day for me."
~Lord I Hope This Day is Good by Don Williams
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Could Things Get Much Worse?
I got a call from my mom this morning asking if I had heard about the ex.
I said no.
She said the surgeon called him yesterday to give him the report from his surgery.
The tumor was malignant.
Needless to say, my heart sank.
I was surprised and hurt that he didn't let me know. He text me about his surgery, so why wouldn't he let me know about this? After talking about it with T, I decided to call him.
He didn't answer. But he did text me right back and asked: "Whats up, I'm in Cabelas"
I told him my mom had called me, yada, yada, yada and asked him what was going on.
He said he may have to have his thyroid taken out.
I told him that I was just concerned and so I decided to call him. I also said he knows that if he needs anything to let me know.
He said ya, thanks.
And that was it.
I don't know what I was hoping for or expecting but I feel so helpless. What do you do when an unrequited love is faced with this? I want to be there for him but I know that's not what we are anymore.
T said he went over to their house yesterday and told them about it and he was definitely humbled by the whole situation. He said it makes you rethink some of the decisions you've made. I heard through the grapevine that his facebook status said: It's funny how a single phone call can change your life. T said she thinks/hopes it makes him realize who and what is really important in life.
I guess deep down, I want him to decide that I am an important part of his life, but I am by no means counting on it. It's hard when what you want and what you know will actually happen are 2 completely different things.
It's just all very hard to swallow.
I said no.
She said the surgeon called him yesterday to give him the report from his surgery.
The tumor was malignant.
Needless to say, my heart sank.
I was surprised and hurt that he didn't let me know. He text me about his surgery, so why wouldn't he let me know about this? After talking about it with T, I decided to call him.
He didn't answer. But he did text me right back and asked: "Whats up, I'm in Cabelas"
I told him my mom had called me, yada, yada, yada and asked him what was going on.
He said he may have to have his thyroid taken out.
I told him that I was just concerned and so I decided to call him. I also said he knows that if he needs anything to let me know.
He said ya, thanks.
And that was it.
I don't know what I was hoping for or expecting but I feel so helpless. What do you do when an unrequited love is faced with this? I want to be there for him but I know that's not what we are anymore.
T said he went over to their house yesterday and told them about it and he was definitely humbled by the whole situation. He said it makes you rethink some of the decisions you've made. I heard through the grapevine that his facebook status said: It's funny how a single phone call can change your life. T said she thinks/hopes it makes him realize who and what is really important in life.
I guess deep down, I want him to decide that I am an important part of his life, but I am by no means counting on it. It's hard when what you want and what you know will actually happen are 2 completely different things.
It's just all very hard to swallow.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Christmas Eve...really?
I'm having an extremely hard time getting into the Christmas spirit this year. Usually I am super excited for the whole holiday season, but not this year. For some reason, it just doesn't feel like Christmas to me.
My mom had to ask me a hundred times for a wish list, so I spent hours trying to come up with suggestions. I can honestly say, I don't really want anything. I must be getting old because I asked for socks and a clip board for Christmas....who does that?!
One of my favorite parts about Christmas is gift-giving. I love skeeming over the perfect gift for weeks for that special someone. Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy giving gifts to everyone, family members included, but it's not the same as giving the perfect gift to the one that you love. I consider myself to be a pretty great gift-giver - like the time I got my ex basketball tickets to the MU/KU basketball game. I was on the computer at 7:45 a.m. the day the tickets went on sale waiting for 8 a.m. The tickets sold out fast, but I got them! Or when we flew over Kansas City to look at the city lights for his birthday. I didn't tell him what we were doing until we pulled into the airport.
But, on the bright side, I saved a bunch of money this holiday season by not having a boyfriend!
There's always hope for next year....I just have to make it through this holiday season first [Which is a little hard to do when All I want for Christmas is you]
My mom had to ask me a hundred times for a wish list, so I spent hours trying to come up with suggestions. I can honestly say, I don't really want anything. I must be getting old because I asked for socks and a clip board for Christmas....who does that?!
One of my favorite parts about Christmas is gift-giving. I love skeeming over the perfect gift for weeks for that special someone. Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy giving gifts to everyone, family members included, but it's not the same as giving the perfect gift to the one that you love. I consider myself to be a pretty great gift-giver - like the time I got my ex basketball tickets to the MU/KU basketball game. I was on the computer at 7:45 a.m. the day the tickets went on sale waiting for 8 a.m. The tickets sold out fast, but I got them! Or when we flew over Kansas City to look at the city lights for his birthday. I didn't tell him what we were doing until we pulled into the airport.
But, on the bright side, I saved a bunch of money this holiday season by not having a boyfriend!
There's always hope for next year....I just have to make it through this holiday season first [Which is a little hard to do when All I want for Christmas is you]
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
I Don't Wanna Know
When I come home for break I get so excited because I always work out with my old boss (TK) and a few other women. When I'm at school, I always work out by myself so it's great to be able to work out with others for a change. Which means, this year, I set my alarm for 4:45 a.m. and arrive at the gym promptly at 5! It's so worth it though!
Old Boss
+ Old Dance Team Sponsor
+ Mother of ex's best friend
+ Small town
=
Updates...
So, yesterday morning, TK mentioned to me that she didn't know the ex had surgery until her son told her after it was all over. Then she said that the ex's mom had to take him back to the city on Friday and he just decided to stay there until this Wednesday because there's nothing to do here except drink and he didn't want to do that (very good sign!). Although I was excited that there wouldn't be a possibility for me to run into him until at least Wednesday, I still didn't feel any more at ease. But then at 5 a.m. this morning, TK said that the ex was at her house last night. She told the guys that she was working out at 5 a.m. and then mentioned in passing that I was working out too. The ex apparently replied, "Of course," and then TK moved on with the conversation, asking how his grades/classes were, how school was, etc.
A little bit later, he apparently asked, "So how is Allie anyway?"
TK replied, "Perfect, of course! She's got a 4.0, works out all the time, helps her mom clean the house...she's doing really well."
I was glad TK talked me up, but I wish she wouldn't have told me about it. It's amazing how something so insignificant like that can make my mind wander.
Old Boss
+ Old Dance Team Sponsor
+ Mother of ex's best friend
+ Small town
=
Updates...
So, yesterday morning, TK mentioned to me that she didn't know the ex had surgery until her son told her after it was all over. Then she said that the ex's mom had to take him back to the city on Friday and he just decided to stay there until this Wednesday because there's nothing to do here except drink and he didn't want to do that (very good sign!). Although I was excited that there wouldn't be a possibility for me to run into him until at least Wednesday, I still didn't feel any more at ease. But then at 5 a.m. this morning, TK said that the ex was at her house last night. She told the guys that she was working out at 5 a.m. and then mentioned in passing that I was working out too. The ex apparently replied, "Of course," and then TK moved on with the conversation, asking how his grades/classes were, how school was, etc.
A little bit later, he apparently asked, "So how is Allie anyway?"
TK replied, "Perfect, of course! She's got a 4.0, works out all the time, helps her mom clean the house...she's doing really well."
I was glad TK talked me up, but I wish she wouldn't have told me about it. It's amazing how something so insignificant like that can make my mind wander.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Me to a T
I've always known that I am a very guarded person, and now I know why.
My dad and I were discussing birth order and so I decided to look up middle child syndrome.
Middle Child
"These kids are the most difficult to pin down. They are guaranteed to be opposite of their older sibling, but that difference can manifest in a variety of ways. Middle children often feel like their older brother gets all the glory while their younger sister escapes all discipline. Because the middle child feels that the world pays him less attention, he tends to be secretive; he does not openly share his thoughts or feelings."
"Middle children may not feel they have a special place in the family so friends and peer groups become much more important. They can usually read people well, they are peacemakers who see all sides of a situation, they are independent and inventive. "
My dad and I were discussing birth order and so I decided to look up middle child syndrome.
Middle Child
"These kids are the most difficult to pin down. They are guaranteed to be opposite of their older sibling, but that difference can manifest in a variety of ways. Middle children often feel like their older brother gets all the glory while their younger sister escapes all discipline. Because the middle child feels that the world pays him less attention, he tends to be secretive; he does not openly share his thoughts or feelings."
"Middle children may not feel they have a special place in the family so friends and peer groups become much more important. They can usually read people well, they are peacemakers who see all sides of a situation, they are independent and inventive. "
"They really don’t like to latch on to a person in a relationship."
Even in my friendships, I am very guarded and I (unintentionally) don't let people in easily. I don't offer my thoughts and feelings to others and I am selective in how much/what I reveal when asked personal questions. I always thought of it as a natural defense mechanism to keep me from getting hurt, but maybe my environment is partly to blame!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
You're a Heartbreaker
"The truth is I gave my heart away a long time ago, my whole
heart, and I never really got it back." ~ Sweet Home Alabama
"When a heart breaks, no it don't break even." ~ Breakeven by The Script
"And I wonder if I ever cross your mind. For me it happens all the time." ~ Need You Now by Lady Antebellum
"You make breaking hearts look so easy." ~ Breaking by Anberlin
I resisted the urge again today to find out how he's doing.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Mom Knows Best
I got an email from my mom today, asking me about a Christmas gift, and then she ended with:
"Do you know yet what you and B are? Or will you be agreeing to go out with Coach?"
[Coach = new, very iffy possibility. While I was home over Thanksgiving break, my old boss asked me if I was seeing anyone. At the time, things with B and I were good and I didn't really know what we were. He called me his girl, babe, etc. and when I would hang out with other people, he told me "not to kiss any other guys." So my response at the time was, kind of. Intrigued, I asked why she wanted to know. Turns out, she wanted to set me up with the high school football coach from my hometown. He was 2 grades above me and I cheered while he played football and basketball when I was in high school. He went on to play football at a D-2 college, and is now back here coaching. I used to have a high school crush on him : )]
So I emailed my mom back, saying if she asked to set me up with Coach again, I would agree...what the heck, right?
She emailed me back saying:
"Yes....what the heck!!!! He [B] was just another toad...you will meet your prince someday...I promise!!! Just keep holding out for him and don't settle!!!"
Oh man mom, you're funny.
On a side note, B has text me the last 2 days, which surprised me. Today he told me to have a safe trip home, which was very sweet of him. Obviously he was thinking about me and knew there was a chance I was going home today. But don't worry, I'm not putting any stock into his recent texts. I am taking the approach that I'm not going to text him...if he wants to talk to me, he'll have to contact me : ) Apparently it's worked thus far, lol.
Today the ex had surgery. I resisted the urge to text his sister-in-law to find out how he was.
"Do you know yet what you and B are? Or will you be agreeing to go out with Coach?"
[Coach = new, very iffy possibility. While I was home over Thanksgiving break, my old boss asked me if I was seeing anyone. At the time, things with B and I were good and I didn't really know what we were. He called me his girl, babe, etc. and when I would hang out with other people, he told me "not to kiss any other guys." So my response at the time was, kind of. Intrigued, I asked why she wanted to know. Turns out, she wanted to set me up with the high school football coach from my hometown. He was 2 grades above me and I cheered while he played football and basketball when I was in high school. He went on to play football at a D-2 college, and is now back here coaching. I used to have a high school crush on him : )]
So I emailed my mom back, saying if she asked to set me up with Coach again, I would agree...what the heck, right?
She emailed me back saying:
"Yes....what the heck!!!! He [B] was just another toad...you will meet your prince someday...I promise!!! Just keep holding out for him and don't settle!!!"
Oh man mom, you're funny.
On a side note, B has text me the last 2 days, which surprised me. Today he told me to have a safe trip home, which was very sweet of him. Obviously he was thinking about me and knew there was a chance I was going home today. But don't worry, I'm not putting any stock into his recent texts. I am taking the approach that I'm not going to text him...if he wants to talk to me, he'll have to contact me : ) Apparently it's worked thus far, lol.
Today the ex had surgery. I resisted the urge to text his sister-in-law to find out how he was.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Miles and Music
When B and I first decided to order the tickets for the AWESOME concert, I was super excited. In fact, I was really excited for us to go until he ditched me twice in one week...
So things were a little awkward last night. Not uncomfortable by any means, just not how our usual interactions have always gone.
It was all the little things that I picked up on the most:
- He spent a good portion of the car ride on his phone, either texting or calling people
- We talked, but didn't have conversation
- Typically when we are in the car together, he would always reach over and grab my hand. He didn't do that once last night, and we had an 8 hour car ride!
- At the concert, in between sets, he spent more time talking to the people next to us than me. Don't get me wrong, it's attractive that he's friendly and can strike up a conversation with the person next to him, but not so much so when I have an aisle seat with no one to talk to myself.
When I dropped him off at 4 a.m. this morning, he asked me when I was going home for break, but I don't anticipate anything coming out of it.
On a side note, the concert was fantastic!
So things were a little awkward last night. Not uncomfortable by any means, just not how our usual interactions have always gone.
It was all the little things that I picked up on the most:
- He spent a good portion of the car ride on his phone, either texting or calling people
- We talked, but didn't have conversation
- Typically when we are in the car together, he would always reach over and grab my hand. He didn't do that once last night, and we had an 8 hour car ride!
- At the concert, in between sets, he spent more time talking to the people next to us than me. Don't get me wrong, it's attractive that he's friendly and can strike up a conversation with the person next to him, but not so much so when I have an aisle seat with no one to talk to myself.
When I dropped him off at 4 a.m. this morning, he asked me when I was going home for break, but I don't anticipate anything coming out of it.
On a side note, the concert was fantastic!
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Updates Galore!
Alright, so here goes! Updates on my life (ok, boys) over the last couple months...
I apologize in advance for the length!
B (running in the rain boy):
We hung out a lot for the first couple weeks - he would text me quite a bit, invited me over to watch football, baseball (the world series was going on during this time), and movies almost every night. We went to the theater several times, he cooked me supper, and we ordered tickets to go to a concert (which is tomorrow actually). Things were good....
And then the new Call of Duty xbox game came out and he basically fell off the face of the earth. His sleeping schedule is completely messed up and I barely hear from him once a day. Over Thanksgiving break, he finally called me a week after it started and we talked for about 5 minutes, and that was it. Then when we got back from break, he invited me to come over the next night after he got off work, but once he got off he text me and said he had a really bad day and was going to go work out. I was under the impression that he was going to work out and then we would hang out, but I was wrong. Two days later he text me and said, "hey stranger, what are your plans for tonight?" I told him I didn't have any plans, so again, I assumed that meant we were going to hang out, but I was wrong, again. I didn't ever end up hearing from him. I ended up going over and seeing him the next day for about 2 hours before he had to go to work, but he slept most of the time.
Fast forward to this week, and I had invited him to the Christmas service at the Christian Campus House (I'm an intern there and I spoke during the service). He asked me what time it was, but he didn't show up...he text me at 11 that night and said he fell asleep and had just woken up. I told him I was leaving the next day for Denver but my flight got back in Friday night, so maybe we could hang out Friday night or Saturday. I didn't ever hear from him last night, so we'll see what happens today.
I'm pretty sure tomorrow's concert will be the end of things. Thankfully, I've learned enough about myself over the past year to know that I should not have to compete with a video game for attention. Every person deserves more respect than that, so...
The Ex:
Wow, where to begin...
Apparently, it began driving him crazy that I was ignoring all of his attempts to communicate with me. He was typically texting me or calling me once every 2 weeks, but after I decided to ignore his attempts following Labor Day weekend, he upped it to once a week. He sent me a text asking me if I was ever going to talk to him again, so I finally text him back and said that I didn't think we should talk anymore, so he sent me a text that said "ok," but I knew it wasn't over...
The next week, he sent me a facebook message saying he didn't understand why we couldn't talk anymore. He said he had apologized for his behavior and he just wanted to know how things were going. I thought about it for a couple days and sent him this message:
I understand that you apologized and I appreciate your apology and I accept it, but I had decided to end things completely before you apologized. I decided after Labor Day weekend that I didn't appreciate the way I had been treated, and I'm not down with that. Your favorite phrase since we broke up was that "it's over," but it's never really been over for either of us. When you broke up with me, you chose to take me out of your life, but you also lost the right to be in my life completely. I should have ended things a long time ago, but I guess I wasn't ready to. I think it's pretty clear we can't be friends, 1. we have too much of a history together 2. we've tried it but don't know how to act as friends because that's not what we were 3. that's not how break ups work. Just so you know, this isn't about me blaming you or attacking you and it's not that I'm mad at you or anything like that, it's just over between us. Again, I appreciate your apology, I really do, and I would never wish anything but the best for you. I think you're an awesome guy, but I just don't think there is a need for us to stay in contact.
I didn't ever get a message back from him. The next week, was opening day of deer season, so I figured he probably went home that weekend to hunt, but didn't think much more about it. That Sunday night, I got a text from him while he was on his way back to school - he said he was in a town that's about 20 minutes away from where I go to school and asked if I wanted him to stop by and see me, and then ended with "lol, jk." I didn't reply. Then, that same week, I had a missed call from him on Thursday, and then again on Friday.
Needless to say, I wasn't excited about going home for Thanksgiving break because I figured I would run into him (kind of hard not to in a town of 3,000). On Monday night, I went to my little sister's junior high basketball game to watch her cheer. My ex's sister-in-law is my sister's cheerleading sponsor, so I talked with her for quite awhile when I got there. She told me that she was supposed to edit one of his papers for him that was due at midnight, but he hadn't given it to her yet, but I didn't think anything about it. Then, later on in the night, I happened to look over and I thought I saw him standing in the commons. A couple minutes later, he had walked around to the side I was sitting on and was standing about 8 feet from me. We made eye contact as soon as he came around the corner, and it was all over after that. I don't understand how that look had so much power, but it did. Luckily, I had way too much homework to hang out with anyone over break, so I didn't end up running into him again. He called me that Friday night of break, and in a moment of weakness, I answered. He asked what I was doing, how my break was going and other small talk. I told him I was getting ready to go to bed, and he said 'oh' like he was kind of surprised or let down (although I could be misinterpreting his tone, which is highly possible). So he said him and one of his friends were driving around and they drove by my house and so he thought he would give me a call. Then he said he was on his way out to his friend's house and he was going was to drive by my house on his way out there. He asked if that was weird, which actually it was, because that definitely was not the most direct route to his friend's house.
And then he text me last night and said, "I am having surgery next week, just to let you know." After much debate, I sent him a text back saying I would be praying for him and he said Thanks. I'm not sure why he would want to let me know that, but it pretty much ruined my night. I'm trying to be strong but it's impossible when he won't leave me alone and let me be. I hate how he can still have so much power over my mood/emotions. I ended up texting his sister-in-law today to find out the details of his surgery because I really didn't want to have a conversation with him. I've been so intentional about trying to move on...I ignore almost all of his attempts to contact me, but I just don't understand why he still does it.
My friend T:
We have been extremely close friends since Logan broke up with me - we've been through a lot of the same situations and have always been there for each other ever since. Extremely long story short: he began dating this girl and has fallen off of the face of the earth completely. We went from texting or talking nearly everyday to never at all. I don't ever hear from him, and even if I text him, half of the time he never texts me back. It sucks so much to value a friendship when it all of a sudden isn't reciprocated back. For some reason, all of the guys that I invest in end up letting me down.
I apologize in advance for the length!
B (running in the rain boy):
We hung out a lot for the first couple weeks - he would text me quite a bit, invited me over to watch football, baseball (the world series was going on during this time), and movies almost every night. We went to the theater several times, he cooked me supper, and we ordered tickets to go to a concert (which is tomorrow actually). Things were good....
And then the new Call of Duty xbox game came out and he basically fell off the face of the earth. His sleeping schedule is completely messed up and I barely hear from him once a day. Over Thanksgiving break, he finally called me a week after it started and we talked for about 5 minutes, and that was it. Then when we got back from break, he invited me to come over the next night after he got off work, but once he got off he text me and said he had a really bad day and was going to go work out. I was under the impression that he was going to work out and then we would hang out, but I was wrong. Two days later he text me and said, "hey stranger, what are your plans for tonight?" I told him I didn't have any plans, so again, I assumed that meant we were going to hang out, but I was wrong, again. I didn't ever end up hearing from him. I ended up going over and seeing him the next day for about 2 hours before he had to go to work, but he slept most of the time.
Fast forward to this week, and I had invited him to the Christmas service at the Christian Campus House (I'm an intern there and I spoke during the service). He asked me what time it was, but he didn't show up...he text me at 11 that night and said he fell asleep and had just woken up. I told him I was leaving the next day for Denver but my flight got back in Friday night, so maybe we could hang out Friday night or Saturday. I didn't ever hear from him last night, so we'll see what happens today.
I'm pretty sure tomorrow's concert will be the end of things. Thankfully, I've learned enough about myself over the past year to know that I should not have to compete with a video game for attention. Every person deserves more respect than that, so...
The Ex:
Wow, where to begin...
Apparently, it began driving him crazy that I was ignoring all of his attempts to communicate with me. He was typically texting me or calling me once every 2 weeks, but after I decided to ignore his attempts following Labor Day weekend, he upped it to once a week. He sent me a text asking me if I was ever going to talk to him again, so I finally text him back and said that I didn't think we should talk anymore, so he sent me a text that said "ok," but I knew it wasn't over...
The next week, he sent me a facebook message saying he didn't understand why we couldn't talk anymore. He said he had apologized for his behavior and he just wanted to know how things were going. I thought about it for a couple days and sent him this message:
I understand that you apologized and I appreciate your apology and I accept it, but I had decided to end things completely before you apologized. I decided after Labor Day weekend that I didn't appreciate the way I had been treated, and I'm not down with that. Your favorite phrase since we broke up was that "it's over," but it's never really been over for either of us. When you broke up with me, you chose to take me out of your life, but you also lost the right to be in my life completely. I should have ended things a long time ago, but I guess I wasn't ready to. I think it's pretty clear we can't be friends, 1. we have too much of a history together 2. we've tried it but don't know how to act as friends because that's not what we were 3. that's not how break ups work. Just so you know, this isn't about me blaming you or attacking you and it's not that I'm mad at you or anything like that, it's just over between us. Again, I appreciate your apology, I really do, and I would never wish anything but the best for you. I think you're an awesome guy, but I just don't think there is a need for us to stay in contact.
I didn't ever get a message back from him. The next week, was opening day of deer season, so I figured he probably went home that weekend to hunt, but didn't think much more about it. That Sunday night, I got a text from him while he was on his way back to school - he said he was in a town that's about 20 minutes away from where I go to school and asked if I wanted him to stop by and see me, and then ended with "lol, jk." I didn't reply. Then, that same week, I had a missed call from him on Thursday, and then again on Friday.
Needless to say, I wasn't excited about going home for Thanksgiving break because I figured I would run into him (kind of hard not to in a town of 3,000). On Monday night, I went to my little sister's junior high basketball game to watch her cheer. My ex's sister-in-law is my sister's cheerleading sponsor, so I talked with her for quite awhile when I got there. She told me that she was supposed to edit one of his papers for him that was due at midnight, but he hadn't given it to her yet, but I didn't think anything about it. Then, later on in the night, I happened to look over and I thought I saw him standing in the commons. A couple minutes later, he had walked around to the side I was sitting on and was standing about 8 feet from me. We made eye contact as soon as he came around the corner, and it was all over after that. I don't understand how that look had so much power, but it did. Luckily, I had way too much homework to hang out with anyone over break, so I didn't end up running into him again. He called me that Friday night of break, and in a moment of weakness, I answered. He asked what I was doing, how my break was going and other small talk. I told him I was getting ready to go to bed, and he said 'oh' like he was kind of surprised or let down (although I could be misinterpreting his tone, which is highly possible). So he said him and one of his friends were driving around and they drove by my house and so he thought he would give me a call. Then he said he was on his way out to his friend's house and he was going was to drive by my house on his way out there. He asked if that was weird, which actually it was, because that definitely was not the most direct route to his friend's house.
And then he text me last night and said, "I am having surgery next week, just to let you know." After much debate, I sent him a text back saying I would be praying for him and he said Thanks. I'm not sure why he would want to let me know that, but it pretty much ruined my night. I'm trying to be strong but it's impossible when he won't leave me alone and let me be. I hate how he can still have so much power over my mood/emotions. I ended up texting his sister-in-law today to find out the details of his surgery because I really didn't want to have a conversation with him. I've been so intentional about trying to move on...I ignore almost all of his attempts to contact me, but I just don't understand why he still does it.
My friend T:
We have been extremely close friends since Logan broke up with me - we've been through a lot of the same situations and have always been there for each other ever since. Extremely long story short: he began dating this girl and has fallen off of the face of the earth completely. We went from texting or talking nearly everyday to never at all. I don't ever hear from him, and even if I text him, half of the time he never texts me back. It sucks so much to value a friendship when it all of a sudden isn't reciprocated back. For some reason, all of the guys that I invest in end up letting me down.
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